'Strong, Independent Woman'- millenial point of view

I can’t remember when exactly this saying became a thing, but it’s such a cliché at this point. Or is it just me?

Anyway, I feel like I started on the path to prove to everyone that I was one of those strong women seven years ago. I was strong enough to leave my family and friends behind, independent enough to move to a country I’d never been to before and try and make a life for myself there. 

It took me years to really decide what I wanted to do with my life and to make true friends. It was also a time of being happy on my own. I always knew I’d one day want a family, but I wasn’t going to settle for anything less than the best. So I stayed single. For a good while. And I’m not going to pretend that was always based on my wishes. In several cases I thank God for protecting me from all sorts of things that never happened.

What all those single years taught me was to be really independent. If I wanted to go out for lunch and my friends were busy - I went by myself. If I wanted to see a movie and couldn’t even be bothered asking anyone if they’d be interested - I indulged in having that time by myself. I think my biggest accomplishment in the ‘Strong, Independent Woman’ category was going to a concert in a massive arena by myself. You know what? It was the best concert I’ve ever been to in my whole life (shoutout to Hans Zimmer). However, that season is now over. What I’ve started to realize is that somewhere along the way I became very co-dependent. I should probably look into the definition of it but that’s how I’d describe no longer being able to enjoy my time on my own. I’m not looking into any opportunities to travel around, because I think ‘oh I’ll save the money and see this place for the first time when my boyfriend comes’.

Truth is, considering both of our schedules, I don’t know if we’ll even get a chance to do much traveling around Spain while I’m here. So why am I postponing all these adventures I could have? And instead, spend every day wishing I wasn’t alone and doing nothing to enjoy this season?.. I’m still looking for answers to these.

It’s funny how I came here ready to grow, to learn all these lessons. Little by little all the things I need to learn keep appearing and it’s stretching me a lot. Yet I’m a firm believer that there is no such thing as comfortable growth. As difficult and lonely as it is sometimes in this season, I look forward to relearning how to be content on my own (disclaimer: I never do that in complete isolation).

Ephesians 6:10 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might