My Greatest Testimony

 My greatest testimony in life so far is how God transformed my mind. If you've read any of my other posts, you may have noticed that I always finish with a verse at the bottom. That is because I believe that God's word is powerful and true, and it has a significant place in my life. So while I talk about my greatest testimony, I can't possibly even attempt to do it without sharing three verses that I held on to during that time.

I struggled with mental health most of my life, and when I finally started counselling in 2018, my key verse shared by my counsellor was from Romans 12:2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I knew that my core beliefs about myself had to radically change, that my way of thinking about myself had to be transformed. I also knew that I couldn't do it on my own. Although I didn't finish counselling, or prematurely assumed that I was finished, that verse never left my mind.

My mental health took another dive when I moved to Spain in 2019. I was the loneliest I had ever been, I missed my friends and church family in Glasgow and felt completely alone. I did everything I could think of to improve my mood: I went on long walks in the sunshine, I ate good food, I started a gratitude journal, but nothing seemed to help. One day I found myself having nothing to write in my gratitude journal, so I wrote a verse I'd recently had in a devotional. This one comes from 1Peter 5:10

In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.

I knew I was suffering and now I had this promise that God will eventually strengthen me. I knew that even though it didn't feel like it at the moment, He would restore me and support me. About a month after this, the worldwide pandemic struck and that sure didn't help matters. Yet I now had another verse that encouraged me and that I held on to. 

Everything was somewhat stable for a while. Not great, far from it, but stable. And then in June of 2021, my life hit a 'restart' button. I prayed for a word, and the verse God gave me was from Isaiah 43:19

For I am about to do something new.
    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
    I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

I knew things couldn't possibly go back to the way they were, and suddenly I was excited about this new season. There was so much uncertainty, but I couldn't wait to see the rivers form in what seemed like a dry wasteland. Now almost halfway through 2022, I look back at these three verses with immense gratitude. Gratitude to God for His faithfulness, for speaking to me when I was at my lowest points, and the fact that I can now say all of those promises have come into fruition! For a while, I kept waiting to hit another low, but it just wouldn't happen. I can now see that God really did transform my mind (Romans 12:2), and I feel like I am standing on a firm foundation (1Peter 5:10) and I am in this new exciting season of life (Isaiah 43:19)!

The only question I now had to God was - what's next? What's the word for this next season? And He gave me Genesis 50:20

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to keep many people alive.

In this story, Joseph was quite literally saving a nation from starvation. I do not expect to do that. However, I have already seen God use my story to encourage other people and pull them out of their extreme lows. I don't think that's the full extent of what God has planned, and I can't wait to see how He uses my story for His glory!